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| 1975 |
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Born in Wisconsin on August 24, 1975 to Pete & Nancy (Urdahl) Weinshrott. Tracy was 5 lbs. 5 1/2 ozs. & 18" she was a beautiful baby! She was named after her maternal great-grandfather Tracy Timm. |
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| 1975-1980 |
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Tracy was a good baby she is the first granddaughter on her dad's side & the first grandchild in 4 yrs. on her mom's side so she gets a lot of love & attention. Tracy had a Winnie-the-Pooh nursery & always carried her Pooh bear around with her. When I would have to wash him she would have to watch while he got his bath :) with me holding her in front of the washer with the lid up.
She loved to have tea parties at her little table & chairs of course Pooh was a guest of honor. Before her brother was born I would read her a book called "Baby Dear" about becoming a big sister. She had memorized the whole book (she was only 2 yrs. old) & knew when to turn the pages as she pretended to read to me.
When her brother Peter (11/1977) was born she never wanted him to cry & would baby him, she loved to take him for walks in his umbrella stroller. Then Julie (1/1979)came along & now Tracy had two babies to mother. The three of them were very close & I'm finding out years later could get into mischief without getting caught.(by Mom)
Tracy's first bike was a purple tricycle of course & her younger sister Julie had lot's of purple hand me downs. She also wore out the wheels on her first Big Wheel she was a very active child with a great imagination. |
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| 1980-1985 |
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Tracy had three years of ballet & tap lessons.
Attends Roberts school for 6 yrs. in Fond du Lac WI
She joins the band in 5th grade & plays the flute.
Tracy did well in school & had many friends.
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| 1986-1997 |
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We moved to Milton because of her dad's job she starts middle school here. The kids all seem to do well with small town living & fit in well at school.
Teenagers: I remember hours in front of the mirror getting her hair just right ! Tracy had a pretty "normal" childhood...until 1992 when she found a lump in her breast it was at the start of her senior year. She had surgery to remove it & it was benign but she missed the last season of golf because of this & wasn't too happy about it.
Tracy graduated from High School in 1993 she was a member of the band (flute) for eight years & was on the golf team for four years.
Tracy started working for Wildwood Theatre's while still in High School she would work for them for 12 years.
She attended U. W. Whitewater for 4 years graduating in 1997 with a degree in Business Management while also working full time.
This was the year (1993) she met her first serious boyfriend Chris at work.They had bought a house together & were going to get married but would break up right after she graduated college in May 1997.
May 1995 we get a shih tzu puppy Tracy picks his name:
Cody don't know why she wanted to call him that but it fits him. Cody will be 10 yrs. old this year & he too misses Tracy very much!
Summer 1997
Tracy starts dating Jason & gets an apartment with him & his two kids in September '97.
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| 1998-2004 |
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Tracy had a seizure on August 19,1998 this was a few days before her 24th birthday. She was taken to the ER & had a cat scan...they told us there was a mass in her brain later the Doctor said she had a stroke & it wasn't a mass. Her second seizure happened on Oct/16/98 this time they did a MRI & told us that it was a brain tumor & they would be sending her to U.W. Hospital in Madison WI. Tracy had surgery on Nov. 24,1998 for an anaplastic mixed oligoastrocytoma (right frontal) brain tumor she was in the hospital for six days. Tracy seemed to do okay after the surgery & six weeks of radiation, she had to take Dilatin in case of seizures (she never had any more). Tracy was lucky in that the brain tumor was entirely removed with no problems or lasting effects. The only sign that she ever had a brain tumor was the bald spot from the double dose of radiation & she was very creative in covering that up.
She returned to work on Feb.1,1999 . Tracy received her full salary & benefits for the 2 1/2 months she was off from work. Her boss Tony who is a lawyer also sent a letter to the insurance company when they refused to pay some of the hospital bills. (it worked & the bills were paid).
Tracy didn't know that her future would be harder than surviving cancer.
She could be naive about people always thinking they had her best interests at heart, little did she know that her own trusting nature would contribute to her death.
Tracy was married on March 29, 2000 she was a beautiful bride, her step-kids looked like a miniature bride & groom they were 4 & 5 yrs. old at this time. They bought & moved into a new house shortly after this
Things went okay health wise for Tracy she went in for regular MRI's every year. Then her husband got fired from his job (for incompetence) & that was the start of their financial problems. He delivered pizza & went to school for computer programing while Tracy was the major support for the four of them. Tracy had stayed at her job because of the health insurance which she couldn't be without. The laws concerning pre-existing conditions has since been changed.
At one of Tracy's appointments for a re-check on her latest MRI (Dec.2001)she was upset with me because I told her I thought she should talk to someone, get some support for what she had been through. This was while we were waiting for the doctor to come in. Her husband spoke up & said she didn't need any counseling she had him to talk to...what was he afraid she would tell them???
Towards the end of 2002 Tracy was becoming very depressed she finally saw a doctor in January & started taking Lexapro but only went to three counseling sessions. She somehow made it through until December of 2003 & the depression hit hard. The end of January 2004 Tracy came to stay with us she would end up living here until two weeks before she died, going back to her house only for short periods of time when her husband had days off from work.
Jan.31,'04
Tracy's sister & I take her to the ER as she has told us she wants to die. They give her meds & tell her to see her primary doctor for follow-up.
Feb.04,'04
Tracy is at the ER again they send her to an out-of-state hospital because of insurance coverage. She is there for 16 days & tries to kill herself two times, first time the doctors & nurses know & just said "It wasn't a serious attempt." The second time is two days before they release her & they have no idea, she tells me a few days after she is home with us. Her note said "not to blame ourselves that it was all her fault."
Feb. 21st
I call around in a panic & try to get her some help finally I reach a nurse for a local program called Wings it's an out patient program M-F . Tracy again seems to do okay for a bit & goes back to work.
April23rd
I go to wake Tracy up for work & can't...she has taken an overdose!
She is barely conscious but tells me she took something I call 911 they take her to a local hospital this time. Tracy isn't doing well so they put her under suicide watch on a medical floor they are worried about her heart & liver from all the meds she took. After 3 days they moved her to a locked ward she spends a total of 20 days in the hospital this time. While in the hospital Tracy had to go to court twice the judge told her if she tried this again or didn't follow through on what her doctor told her that she would go to a long term mental facility. The social worker tells me they want to scare her well they did a good job of it! They have her attend the Wings program for another 6 weeks on an out patient basis & see her therapist. Tracy's note this time says "that nothing has changed!"
June 2004 her doctor says she can return to work part-time her employer says "no part-time as they would have to hire another person" the end of June she receives a letter telling her that she will lose her job if she can't work full time & will have insurance coverage until July 31st.
Tracy sends out her resume & is looking for a job but has no luck with the part-time hours she can work. Her husband tells her not to worry he has things under control & wants her to move back home.
July 2004
We attend a family meeting at Mercy Hospital (Wings program)...
I tell them of my concerns about Tracy moving back home with her husband. I told them that I was worried that Tracy wasn't getting the support she needed at home & was afraid she would try to harm herself again.They (a therapist & registered nurse) dismiss everything I say & the nurse tells me that I'm really reaching to come to that conclusion.
I have so many regrets about what I didn't say at that meeting that day...
We can tell something serious is going on with Tracy but she is determined on moving back home the second week of July. She has stopped talking to us about any thing important & tells her husband she is talking to her sister & tells Julie she is talking to him. Now she hasn't been working only has therapy every 2 weeks & her life is falling apart. (red flags all over the place!!!)
July17th Tracy goes to her friends wedding
July18th don't know
July19th Tracy spends the day with us & that night goes to watch a basketball game with a friend/co-worker. Before she goes home she asks me what time the baby (her niece) is coming over on Tuesday said she will be over to visit around 3 p.m. She says good-bye & that is the last time I ever see her alive. After leaving here she goes to her brothers apartment & drops off her office chair which she doesn't need anymore so he can use it with his new computer, he is at work & doesn't get a chance to talk to her.
July 20, 2004
7:00 a.m. Tracy's husband leaves for work she is sleeping home alone the kids are with their mom on vacation.
9:00 a.m. Tracy has a phone interview with unemployment
10-10:30 Her husband talks to her & later (months) I find out she was very upset about the interview w/unemployment.
12 noon ??? Her husband tells the police & coroner that he had talked to Tracy a 2nd time & she was okay was coming to visit me in the afternoon & looking forward to their plans for that night. ( I don't believe this phone call ever took place, he was afraid afterwards that someone would ask WHY he didn't call anyone to go check on Tracy.)
3:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. Tracy never shows up I start to worry & drive out to her house looking for her. I can't find her so come home thinking I passed her on my way there. (In hindsight I regret not finding a phone & immediately calling the police) I knew something was wrong because Tracy would have called if she was going to be late.
6-7:30 p.m.???
Her husband is called at work & he hasn't heard from her so calls his parents to go check at the house...his younger brothers break in & find Tracy in the basement. (Jason isn't concerned at first when he talks to Tracy's sister Julie...he suggests that maybe Tracy has gone shopping. This is so far fetched because Tracy hasn't been able to shop by herself for months. Did he really believe she had been shopping for over 5 hours by herself without contacting anyone)
I talk to both the police & coroner that night the coroner says she believes that Tracy died in the morning. Tracy died from depression/suicide she hung herself in her basement.
Was it the depression made worse/caused by a bad marriage on the verge of divorce & financial bankruptcy??? We will never know because this time she didn't leave a note. (?)
( people are creatures of habit yet this time supposedly Tracy didn't leave a note, I understand Jason's family wanting to protect him but how cruel to keep her last thoughts from us)
July 23rd visitation
July24th Tracy is laid to rest in a private service.
In one of her journal entries she wrote, "Tonight I hurt Jason I told him it wasn't the depression or the medications but the marriage". Another entry said, that Dr. Bob told her that she better get her act together or everyone would think she was psychotic because her story didn't match up with Jason's. (These were written while she was in Rockford Memorial Hospital in Feb.'04)
Shortly after this she got angry & took Jason's name off the list of people who could talk to her doctor & therapist & get information about her care. A social worker called me at home & said she didn't like it when the spouse couldn't be contacted, yet this was Tracy's choice.
Tracy was the patient NOT Jason.
She also said it didn't matter if Tracy got a divorce she would still have to pay half of what they owed...they didn't get it that it wasn't about money! (At least not at this point because Jason was still spending money they didn't have & lying about it to Tracy. An example was the porch swing he bought for her which sat in the garage because she refused to use it. Later that year he bought her a necklace for mother's day & she found out he lied again about that & she never wore it. Always the grand gestures with no substance. These items may not seem like much but it was just more of the same old crap he was pulling. When he finally got a job the first thing he did was go out & buy a brand new car instead of paying a $400.00 repair bill on the one he had...this even through they were in debt & having trouble paying the bills.. Telling Tracy she could have the new car when hers quit working & he would get another new one. Obviously no concern for their financial well-being which weighed heavily on Tracy )
Tracy was fighting for her life & her husband was still in denial that anything was wrong but he knew how bad it was or he never would have told her to come stay with us...
I had a conversation with Jason a few days before Tracy was admitted to the hospital the first time. I asked him how he could not have noticed how bad the depression was. He said that the last year had been the happiest of his life that they were living the "American Dream", a new house, nice cars, good jobs. At the family meeting he denied ever saying this.
I believe Tracy didn't get the care she needed because her husband couldn't tell the truth...he still needed to believe that he was living the perfect life even while it was falling apart around him. (what he refers to as "the white picket fence times")
Tracy said she knew she would never get healthy as long as she stayed with Jason. All of this leads back to the Emotional Abuse,
she wanted to leave but couldn't for some reason we will never know.
Emotional abuse is a devastating, debilitating heart and soul mutilation. The deepest lasting wound with any abuse is the emotional wound.
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| 2004-Present |
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The past 4 years & 4 months have been a nightmare of emotions but there have been some good times too because life goes on...
Sept.12, 2004
Tracy's sister gets married to Todd her long time love.
Thanksgiving 2004
Is spent with family it's hard because Tracy is missed but we survive another holiday with the help of loved ones.
Christmas 2004
We celebrate at Julie & Todds this year & then on the 26th go to visit with family. Changing how we use to celebrate the holidays helps a bit but not much as a part of our family is missing.
Jan.20, 2005
It's been six months & seems to be getting harder so many bad memories from last January. The fog has lifted & reality starts to set in we will be missing Tracy for the rest of our lives.
July 15, 2005
In five more days it will be one year since our world came crashing down... I wonder how it is possible so much time has passed. We have survived...life goes on but so very different than before. Tracy is missed & loved so much... she will always be a part of us. Now she lives on in our hearts & our memories of her.
August 2005
Soon it will be Tracy's birthday...she would have been 30 years young. What a waste....if she only could have known the truth but she was led to believe it was her. Her illness made it impossible to think rationally...if she had not been sick she would NEVER have done this to escape the pain she was living with.
Jesse & Tori (Tracy's step-kids) & Julie & I go to the cemetery with birthday balloons. We bring along a ceramic photo of Tracy which we attach to the headstone.
Jan. 2006
The start of a new year...Tracy is missed & remembered by those who love her.
A new addition to the family this year brings Hope as we
excitedly await his arrival.
April 13, 2006
Cody our much loved Shih Tzu leaves us to rest in peace after a long illness.
We miss him so much...
July 20, 2006
Peter, Seva Jean & I go to Fond du Lac to visit at the cemetery, we replace the flowers & release purple, white & yellow balloons. Tracy you are so loved & missed by all of us. Rest in Peace.
August 17, 2006
Michael Joseph
Same birthday as his great-great Uncle John A. Timm
May 21, 2007
Julie & Michael & I go to Fond du Lac to set up a bench at the cemetery & plant flowers. My sister Eileen comes to help us & ends up installing it very professionally (Thank You!!!).
Sept. 15, 2007
Tracy's cousin Steve gets married
Jan. 2008
Exciting News!!!
Julie & Todd are expecting their 2nd child.
May 2, 2008
More Exciting News!!!
"It's a BOY" eta: late September 2008
July 20, 2008
Four years at times it seems like yesterday...
40 years since my Dad passed away from cancer he was 43 yrs. old. Went to F.D.L. with Julie & Michael & visited at both cemeteries brought balloons & cleaned up around the stones.
Sept. 9, 2008
Samuel Robert "Sam"
born on his Great Great Aunt Mary's 95th birthday |
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| 2004 |
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Tracy died on July 20, 2004 her final resting place is in Calvary Cemetery (section 11, block 131, lot 24, grave 6)
in her hometown of Fond du Lac WI. She is next to her maternal Great-Grandparents Tracy & Mary A. Timm, her Great-Uncles Francis & John & Great-Aunt Margarete.
Her headstone has an engraving of Piglet holding some Daises on the corner above her name...Tracy loved Winnie-the-Pooh but Piglet was her favorite.
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